"Skinny Jeans"
I love fashion. I try to have a healthy contemporary fashion sense while attempting to perceive whether or not something will in the future fade into utter embarrassment when one looks back at an old photo (I know you hate that you wore "cross colors" right? I mean we weren’t the least bit concerned about color coordinating in the early nineties!) I think I’ve mastered that technique – take the good – leave the rest. But there are some trends now that I believe aren’t healthy for society by and large.
Okay. By now I'm certain that you guys have seen dudes about town wearing the testicle promenading "skinny jeans".
I'm not talking about the Billy Ray Cyrus "achy-breaky-heart" tight jeans
As if those didn't vice grip your balls enough......Oh no my brother...I'm talking about jeans that are far more testicle constricting.
I'm talking about your girlfriend Tawanda's "I-have-to-roll-on-the-floor-and-suck-in-my-gut-at-the-same-time" club jeans.
I love fashion. I try to have a healthy contemporary fashion sense while attempting to perceive whether or not something will in the future fade into utter embarrassment when one looks back at an old photo (I know you hate that you wore "cross colors" right? I mean we weren’t the least bit concerned about color coordinating in the early nineties!) I think I’ve mastered that technique – take the good – leave the rest. But there are some trends now that I believe aren’t healthy for society by and large.
Okay. By now I'm certain that you guys have seen dudes about town wearing the testicle promenading "skinny jeans".
I'm not talking about the Billy Ray Cyrus "achy-breaky-heart" tight jeans
As if those didn't vice grip your balls enough......Oh no my brother...I'm talking about jeans that are far more testicle constricting.
I'm talking about your girlfriend Tawanda's "I-have-to-roll-on-the-flo
Wearing skinny Jeans - like voting - is something that trendy gay guys have been doing for years but because of some bold black dude it has gotten extremely popular and has been declared cool.
When I first saw gay dudes wearing these jeans... okay, it initially caught me off guard, but then you realize this is infact gay apparel, and you move on amicably.
You see the thing is, I’m totally fine with gay dudes wearing skinny jeans. The problems is that these “Skinny Jeans” have become so popular that now heterosexual men are wearing them . Straight dudes? Can you believe it? Beer Drinking, Misogynistic, Slapping their women on the butt in public kind of straight dudes. The Gay line is blending right before our eyes ladies and gentlemen. Are we prepared for that? I think that's entirely too much change for one calendar year.
What this means is that now straight dudes are looking like gay dudes. I don’t like this specifically because this makes it increasingly difficult to detect the "Homosexual intensive" areas in any given public area. I love gay dudes,, but since I was little I've always had issue with anybody looking intently at my booty for any length of time.... it started with an Eddie Murphy joke and then took on mind of it's own. Now I take showers with my pants on.
The only thing I hate is that we, have to figure out who’s really gay now. We already have the complication of Religion, Starbucks and Seth Rogen (is he funny
or isn’t he funny…no one knows. I always feel like there's a punch line coming, but it never comes.)
Do me a favor straight dudes, let the gay dudes, be gay dudes. Stop trying to steal their thunder. because If I know gay dudes like I think I do, they will come and get you.
P.S.
Micheal J. Fox was the only heterosexual dude to wear skinny Jeans while simultaneously being cool. I repeat – THE ONLY heterosexual dude!
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